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Sad Quotes about Love and Life
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Sad Funny Quotes

I hope you like these sad Funny quotes and sayings from my large collection of sad quotes and sayings about life and love.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

Related topics: Cynical

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde


 

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West



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To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson

When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

In the course of my life, I have often had to eat my words,
and I must confess that I have always found it a wholesome diet.
- Winston Churchill

The light at the end of the tunnel
may be an oncoming train.
- Anonymous

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons
out of the hands of fools.
Let's start with typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau

Man will occasionally stumble over the truth,
but most of the time he will pick himself up and continue on.
- Winston Churchill

Money is better than poverty,
if only for financial reasons.
- Woody Allen

If at first you don't succeed,
try, try, and try again.
Then give up.
There's no use being a damned fool about it.
- W. C. Fields

There are four stages in a marriage.
First there's the affair,
then the marriage,
then children
and finally the fourth stage,
without which you cannot know a woman, the divorce.
- Norman Mailer

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

Life is like a sewer...
what you get out of it depends on what you put into it.
- Tom Lehrer

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

Happiness is the china shop; love is the bull.
- H. L. Mencken

Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
- George Carlin

Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
- Margaret Mead

People who think they know everything
are a great annoyance to those of us who do.
- Isaac Asimov

Just because I don't care,
doesn't mean I don't understand.
- Matt Groening's TV series The Simpsons.

You have enemies? Good.
That means you've stood up for something,
sometime in your life.
- Winston Churchill

Love is only a dirty trick played on us
to achieve continuation of the species.
- W. Somerset Maugham

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Do not take life too seriously.
You will never get out of it alive.
- Elbert Hubbard

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

So far, this is the oldest I've been.
- George Carlin

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II

Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

An excellent man;
he has no enemies;
and none of his friends like him.
- Oscar Wilde

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous

We have the best government that money can buy.
- Mark Twain

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
- Groucho Marx

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

It is more agreeable to have the power to give than to receive.
- Winston Churchill

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

It has been my experience that folks who
have no vices, have very few virtues.
- Abraham Lincoln

God must love the common man, he made so many of them.
- Abraham Lincoln

Genius may have its limitations,
but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
- Elbert Hubbard

Procrastination is like a credit card:
it's a lot of fun until you get the bill.
- Christopher Parker

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

The lion and the calf shall lie down together,
but the calf won't get much sleep.
- Woody Allen

The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down
rat holes with baited breath.
- W. C. Fields

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Getting fired is nature's way to telling you
that you had the wrong job in the first place.
- Hal Lancaster

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

You wanna know the meaning of life?
Fugedaboudit - It ain't happnin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben

I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives
as much as if we had never married at all.
- Lord Byron

Politics is like football; if you see daylight, go through the hole.
- John F. Kennedy


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.