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Sad Quotes about Love and Life
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Sad Funny Quotes

I hope you like these sad Funny quotes and sayings from my large collection of sad quotes and sayings about life and love.

Honesty is the best policy - when there is money in it.
- Mark Twain

Related topics: Cynical

A true friend is someone who
thinks that you are a good egg
even though he knows that
you are slightly cracked.
- Bernard Meltzer

Life ... full of loneliness, and misery,
and suffering, and unhappiness,
and it's all over much too quickly.
- the Woody Allen movie Annie Hall

Morality is simply the attitude we adopt
towards people whom we personally dislike.
- Oscar Wilde


 

Love conquers all things except poverty and a toothache.
- Mae West

If you are not one of us, you are one of them.
- the movie The Matrix (1999)

Times like these, dark times,
they do funny things to people.
They can tear them apart.
- the movie Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009)



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When you're drowning, you don't say,
"I would be incredibly pleased if someone
would have the foresight to notice
me drowning and come and help me,"
you just scream.
- John Lennon

Life's burdens are lighter when I laugh at myself.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

To fall in love is awfully simple,
but to fall out of love is simply awful.
- Bess Myerson

What do I think of Western civilization?
I think it would be a very good idea.
- Mohandas (Mahatma) Gandhi

Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother
rather than all major credit cards.
- Robert Orben

Having two bathrooms ruined the capacity to co-operate.
- Margaret Mead

Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
- Anonymous

We are finally driven to monogamy
not by morality but by exhaustion.
- Erica Jong

There is more of good nature than of good sense
at the bottom of most marriages.
- Henry David Thoreau

Love thy neighbor -
and if he happens to be tall,
debonair and devastating,
it will be that much easier.
- Mae West

My way of joking is telling the truth;
that is the funniest joke in the world.
- George Bernard Shaw

The only true love is love at first sight;
second sight dispels it.
- Israel Zangwill

Life is a moderately good play
with a badly written third act.
- Truman Capote

If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?
- Abraham Lincoln

In life you are given two ends;
one to think with and the other to sit on.
Your success in life depends on which end you use most.
Heads you win, tails you lose.
- Conrad Burns

99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
- Anonymous

Life is too important to be taken seriously.
- Oscar Wilde

Some days just go to Hell faster than others.
- Mary Anne Radmacher

The reason I talk to myself is because
I'm the only one whose answers I accept.
- George Carlin

Strike an average between what a woman thinks of her husband
a month before she marries him
and what she thinks of him a year afterward,
and you will have the truth about him.
- H. L. Mencken

Politics is almost as exciting as war, and quite as dangerous.
In war you can only be killed once, but in politics many times.
- Winston Churchill

You wanna know the meaning of life?
Fugedaboudit - It ain't happnin.
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Heaven must be an awfully dull place
if your best friends end up elsewhere.
- Anonymous

People who are wrapped up in themselves make small packages.
- Benjamin Franklin

Many a man owes his success to his first wife
and his second wife to his success.
- Jim Backus

Think of how stupid the average person is,
and realize half of them are stupider than that.
- George Carlin

Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards.
- Benjamin Franklin

Do not speak to me of rules.
This is war! This is not a game of cricket!
- from the movie The Bridge On The River Kwai

An intellectual is a man
who takes more words than necessary
to tell more than he knows.
- Dwight D. Eisenhower

I think men who have a pierced ear
are better prepared for marriage.
They've experienced pain and bought jewelry.
- Rita Rudner

One should never trust a woman who tells her real age.
If she tells that, she'll tell anything.
- Oscar Wilde

Love is a grave mental disease.
- Plato

You have no values. With you its all nihilism,
cynicism, sarcasm, and orgasm.
- the Woody Allen movie Deconstructing Harry

Smile first thing in the morning. Get it over with.
- W. C. Fields

Happiness is nothing more than good health and a bad memory.
- Albert Schweitzer

If we were meant to be happy,
why did God create war, hunger, and the 11 o'clock news?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

A remark generally hurts in proportion to its truth.
- Will Rogers

If life is a trial, who is the judge and jury?
- Jonathan Lockwood Huie

Life is a whim of several billion cells to be you for a while.
- Groucho Marx

In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar -
a practice which is still continued.
- Helen Rowland

My life is difficult. I need more money.
- the movie The Expendables (2010)

Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
- Anonymous

Politicians and diapers need to be changed regularly,
usually for the same reason.
- Anonymous

One should always be in love.
That is the reason one should never marry.
- Oscar Wilde

I'm all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons
out of the hands of fools.
Let's start with typewriters.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.
- the movie The Godfather, Part II

Just because I don't care,
doesn't mean I don't understand.
- Matt Groening's TV series The Simpsons.

Harvard takes perfectly good plums as students,
and turns them into prunes.
- Frank Lloyd Wright

Getting married is a lot like getting into a tub of hot water.
After you get used to it, it ain't so hot.
- Minnie Pearl

A woman in love can't be reasonable -
or she probably wouldn't be in love.
- Mae West

The wine of youth does not always
clear with advancing years;
sometimes it grows turbid.
- Carl Jung

One should never know too precisely
whom one has married
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Some husbands are living proof that a woman can take a joke.
- Anonymous

A wedding is just like a funeral
except that you get to smell your own flowers.
- Grace Hansen

We are all worms. But I believe that I am a glow-worm.
- Winston Churchill

As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.
- John Lennon

Bigamy is having one wife too many. Monogamy is the same.
- Oscar Wilde

Marriage is an adventure, like going to war.
- Gilbert (G. K.) Chesterton

A lifelong friend is someone
you haven't borrowed money from yet.
- Anonymous

Only two things are infinite,
the universe and human stupidity,
and I'm not sure about the former.
- Albert Einstein

Any idiot can face a crisis.
It's the day-to-day living that wears you out.
- Anton Chekhov

Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it.
- George Carlin

Rules are mostly made to be broken
and are too often for the lazy to hide behind.
- Douglas MacArthur

Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand.
- Anonymous


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All materials & writings are copyright © Jonathan Lockwood Huie, except for quotes and other specifically identified material which belong to their respective copyright holders if applicable.